


The Effects of Unruly Children on Shiro's Mental Health

by ButterflyCrossing



Series: Kageyama Family (Cafe or otherwise) [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: #saveshiro2k16, 3rd Grade AU, Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Coffee Shops, Confessions, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Kid Fic, Show and tell, Student Paladins, Students, THERE IS A HELL BIRD IF SHIRO HAD A BOGGART IT WOULD BE THE HELL BIRD, Teacher Shiro, i put kenma in this and im not apologizing for that, its 99 percent fluff, non-binary Pidge, teacher allura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8468281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyCrossing/pseuds/ButterflyCrossing
Summary: “Hi! My name is Lance. Are you Mr. Shiro? I heard you were a really good teacher. Gwen and Percy both said you were, but Tristan said you scream when you see a pigeon. Is that true?”  And with that, Shiro knew he would be in for one disaster of a school year.AKA Shiro is a 3rd grade teacher who really, really needs a break, and the rest of the Paladins are his students that all sit at the same table and cause him a lot of grief.





	1. In Which Classes Commence and Shiro Already Knows What Kind of a Year This One Will Be

**Author's Note:**

> So, all of this cute insanity was based on [one tumblr post](http://actualscienceside.tumblr.com/post/152721319206/yosoyleche-12-gauge-rage-waterboarding) because I spend most of my life on there or here. And then I yelled to my friends about it. And now, finally, I'm posting this mess.
> 
> It's teen because Shiro cusses as an outlet of his FRUSTRATION WITH THESE TROUBLESOME CHILDREN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a 3rd grade AU. And by that I mean Shiro has to deal with four unruly 3rd graders. I mostly just yelled about the concept to my friends for a while but now I'm posting this! Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> By the way, age-wise, Shiro and Allura are both in their late 20s, the rest of the paladins are between the ages of 7 and 8, just depending on when their birthdays are and whatnot (Pidge being the youngest 7 year old on the spectrum because they skipped a grade). Coran's in his like??? Early to Mid-40s? And so is Sam.

Shiro took one last glance around his third grade classroom at Altea Elementary School before striding to the door, unlocking it, and opening it. He was almost immediately tackled by a small boy with brown hair wearing bright blue overalls. “Hi! My name is Lance. Are you Mr. Shiro? I heard you were a really good teacher. Gwen and Percy both said you were, but Tristan said you scream when you see a pigeon. Is that true?” Shiro chuckled as he started rambling.

“I guess you must be one of the McClain siblings. You’re also the first one here this morning. Are your parents with you?”

Lance’s face fell. “No, mama had to take Morgana to her first day of kindergarten and daddy was taking Vivian and Kay to pre-school and then dropping Gwen and Percy off at middle school. Tristan and Elaine and me had to find our classrooms on our own. But Tristan is next door so he walked me here.”  
  
Shiro’s first thought was _“poor Allura"_ before he smiled down at Lance. “Hey, why don’t you pick a seat. The other students are starting to get here, and if you go now you can pick any one you want.”

Lance bolted off, backpack in hand, checking each table before running to the next one to check it. Shiro sighed in relief, then smiled at the next student coming to the door, hand in hand with Sam Holt. “Hey Sam, how’s it going?” Sam had been his mentor while Shiro worked his way through both pilot school and teaching school. Now Shiro was fully licenced to fly both helicopters and planes, which he did during his summers, going on amazing adventures.

“Pretty well, Pidge here is ready to start third grade.”

“Really? I thought she was going into-” Shiro was interrupted by a firm voice.

“Uncle Shiro! Don’t call me she. I’m not a girl. Or a boy. I’m a- uh- what’s it called daddy?”

“It’s called non-binary honey. Pidge says they don’t have a gender, and we’re trying to be supportive. We’ve been using plural pronouns as singular ones, if that helps.”[1]

Shiro was surprised by this, but took it in stride. He had had weirder requests from parents he didn’t know at all. “Yeah, sure. One of my friends from college was non-binary. I can do that.”

He glanced down at the younger Holt sibling. “So I guess you don’t want me to call you Katie anymore right? Is it Pidge now?”

“Yeah! Just like Rover.” Shiro remembered when Matt Holt had brought in the family’s pet, a starling pigeon named Rover, for show and tell. In the five minutes in which Sam had left to go to the bathroom, a student called Rolo had opened Rover’s cage, Rover had flown out, and all hell had broken loose as children ran away from or straight at the now terrified bird. When Sam had opened the classroom door to get back in, he was accosted by his pet flying straight towards his head. After Sam had gotten Rover back in the cage and Shiro had calmed the class down, Shiro had vowed to always check what the kids were bringing to class.

“Alright.” He glanced at Sam meaningfully. “Make sure to let me know at least a week ahead of time if Pidge wants to bring Rover in. And no bathroom breaks, or put a lock on the cage, please.”

Sam chuckled at this. “I don’t want to be attacked by my own pigeon any more than you want Rover flying around in your classroom again. Don’t worry, we both know what to check for now.”

“Good. I thought Pidge was going into second grade this year. Did I just skip a year in my head or what?”

“Naw, our Pidge is smart enough to have skipped a grade up this year. You miss a lot when you fly away to exotic locations every summer.”

“Ah. Well I’ll make sure the other students don't mess with her-- them  too much. I know it can sometimes be hard skipping a grade and having to make all new friends.”

“Thanks Shiro. I can always count on you to come through for us.” Sam grinned at him like a proud father, and Shiro smiled back. Sam’s grins could make a person feel like they had just done the most important thing in the world, even if it was something small and insignificant.

“Pidge why don’t you sit next to Lance. I know he’s pretty friendly, and it would be good to know someone before everyone else starts filling in.” Lance had taken a seat at one of the 4 person tables towards the front right. Pidge trotted off obediently, and Lance’s eyes lit up when he saw them and he began chattering away.

“If you want to stay to watch the first day of class you can, but you already know me and how I teach.” Shiro told Sam when Pidge had settled down across from Lance.

“Ehh, it’s always amusing to watch you try to interact with the soccer moms hitting on you.”

“Saaammmmm don’t remind me.” Shiro groaned. Sam went off to stand along the side as many children and their parents walk through the door and Shiro greeted them and introduced himself, and told the kids to find their own seats. After a little bit, a boy with an oversized red jacket and rather greasy hair for the first day of school walked in alone.

“I’m Keith. I moved here. Are you my teacher?” Keith had a small lisp due to a missing incisor, a common occurrence in Shiro’s classroom, but he always found it adorable.

“Yes, I’m Mr. Shirogane, it’s nice to meet you. Do you want to pick a seat? Maybe over at that table. Pidge, the one in the green shirt, is new too.” Shiro pointed to a table where Lance and Pidge were sitting

“Okay.” Shiro watched as the boy walked over. He went to the table himself when he noticed Lance shaking his head violently and raising his voice when Keith tried to sit down next to him.

“Lance, what’s wrong? Why can’t Keith sit there?”

“That’s Hunk’s spot! Hunk always sits next to me in class. He’s my best friend.”

“But Hunk isn’t here yet. Are you sure Keith can’t sit there?”

“No! His hair is all gross, I bet he smells.”

Keith’s eyes started watering at this point. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Lance, why don’t you calm down. I promise Keith smells perfectly fine. What if Keith sits next to Pidge, and maybe you can think about apologising to him? He didn’t know that this was Hunk’s spot, he’s new here.”

“Well, I know he’s new. But it doesn’t mean he can steal Hunk’s spot.” Lance replied petulantly.

“Okay Lance, he’s not taking Hunk’s seat anymore, he’s sitting next to Pidge now. Can you try to be friends with him? He’s new and I know you’re really good at making friends.” Shiro guided Keith over to the other chair at the table

“Alright. I still don’t have to like him right now though.” Lance glared at his desk. Shiro could tell he was in for a long ride this year, and the first day hadn’t even started.

Shiro walked back to the entryway of the classroom, and greeted a few more parents and children before Hunk and his mom arrived. “Hi, I’m Hunk. When is snack time?.” Hunk said immediately after entering.

“Hi Hunk, I’m Mr. Shirogane. Snack time is at 10:30. I think your friend Lance was saving you a seat over there.” Shiro pointed to the table where Keith and Lance were talking animatedly and Pidge piped up every few exchanges to put in their word.

“Oh! Thank you Mr. Shirogane. I’m gonna go say hi then.” Hunk trotted off to fill the last seat in that table. Shiro turned his attention to Hunk’s mother.

“Hello, Mr. Shirogane. My name is Layla, I just wanted to make sure you have my phone number. Hunk is a very friendly boy, and likes to share, but he has a very queasy stomach so it’s probably easier if he eats the snacks he brings from home rather than any classroom snacks or ones from friends. If you have any worries about him don’t hesitate to call me. I want to make sure my little Hunky is happy.”

“Of course Layla. Are there any fruits or snacks I can stock for him so he doesn’t feel left out?”

“Oh, you’re so accommodating, look at you so sweet. He loves bananas and applesauce, and they are both very easy on his stomach.”

“Ah, perfect. I already was planning on both of those. Thank you. You can stand in the back with some of the other parents to observe the first day or go on to whatever you need to do.”

“I think I will, thank you.” Hunk’s mom went to join the rest of the parents, and Shiro caught a glance of Sam snickering to himself.

A few more kids filed in, and then it was 8:30 and class was supposed to begin. He picked up his roll sheet, and started calling out names. He was lucky this year, all the kids were on time for their first day of class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Ok, I know that they/them pronouns aren’t just plural, however, Sam doesn’t know how familiar Shiro is with transgender people and is trying to explain it in the simplest terms possible to him. It probably would have been easier had he just told Shiro to use they/them pronouns, but I think he’s trying to simplify it for Shiro and isn’t sure how to.


	2. In Which Shiro Goes Over Emergency Procedures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What would you do if I was shot?” Shiro asked, waiting for someone to raise their hand and recite the answer he had just gone over before the drill.
> 
> Before anyone had a chance to answer his question, Keith blurted out “Avenge you!” Shiro held in his snort, and was about to correct Keith when Lance jumped in.
> 
> “Keith! I was gonna say that! You stole it from me!”
> 
> “No I didn’t dummy, you never told me you were gonna say it.”
> 
> “Yes I did!”
> 
> “No you didn’t!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have all the chapters finished (other than 2 extra bits) but I'll be trying to update once a day for the rest so y'all don't have to wait.

The first week of class was all setup and going over class policies and procedures. Shiro always saved in depth emergency procedures for Friday, when the kids were starting to get bored of the talking but had had a week to start getting used to school again.

It had been going pretty well so far. The kids had a blast with Stop, Drop, and Roll, and while Shiro had never once seen a situation where that procedure was used, it was standard and the more it was drilled into his students heads the less likely they were to forget it when they were 20 or 40 and some freak accident set their clothes on fire. They were also pretty complacent about going to line up outside, and Shiro thanked his lucky stars that none of them had run off when they got to the grassy field.

The earthquake drills had also gone smoothly, everyone knew how to huddle under their desks for cover, and were quick about it. The shelter-in-place drill went well too, the kids really just had to sit quietly for a few moments while Shiro read their names and showed them where the supplies were.

The lockdown drill was where things started to go wrong. Shiro had the kids all sit up against the walls under the window, turned off the lights, locked all the doors, closed all the windows and blinds, and made sure everyone was where they were supposed to be and silent. Once this was over, they all went back to their seats, where Shiro made sure they knew their procedures.

“What would you do if I was shot?” Shiro asked, waiting for someone to raise their hand and recite the answer he had just gone over before the drill.

Before anyone had a chance to answer his question, Keith blurted out “Avenge you!” Shiro held in his snort, and was about to correct Keith when Lance jumped in.

“Keith! I was gonna say that! You stole it from me!”

“No I didn’t dummy, you never told me you were gonna say it.”

“Yes I did!”

“No you didn’t!”

“Am I going to need to separate the two of you?” Shiro jumped in, glaring at the two boys.

“No!” Lance shrieked his dissent at the idea of being separated from Keith. “How am I supposed to beat him if he’s at a different table?”

“Yeah! How am I supposed to be better than him at everything if he’s at a different table?” Keith pouted. Shiro took a deep breath.

“Okay, you two can stay at the same table for now, but if you keep this up I am going to have to separate you.”

“Fine.” They both agreed, and Shiro addressed the entire class again.

“Okay, so the answer isn’t to avenge me. Does anyone else know what you should do if I get shot?”

Shiro eventually got his answer from another student and finished up the emergency drills part of the day. He went through the small amounts of curriculum he had for the first week, handed out the short homework packets for the students to do over the weekend, and eventually, bid his students goodbye.

After all the students had been picked up or moved to the pick up area, Shiro met his fellow teacher Allura outside her classroom next door. “Ready to go?” He inquired, fishing his keys out of his pocket and offering her his other arm.

“Lets. It’s been a long week.” They walked out to Shiro’s car, and drove to a nearby cafe, the Kageyama Family Cafe. Shiro’s parents were friends with the owners, and the teacher duo had a longstanding routine of getting coffee together and talking about how their classes had gone each week of the school year.

It had started with a botched confession from Shiro, where he had turned a request for a date into one for a discussion, but over the years he had learned to quell his crush and the pair had become very good friends. Sam still laughed at him over it, and Shiro realized that he would have twice as much fodder this year because Matt was in Allura’s class.

They meandered over to their usual table, afternoons weren’t usually that busy so one of the servers would come to them rather than them going up to the counter. Shiro grabbed a pair of menus on the way over in case either of them wanted to try something new. Allura sat down first, and he handed her a second menu before sitting himself.

“Oh, look Shiro, they have an apple pie latte for the fall! That sounds delightful.”

“What’s the name?” Shiro was curious. The drinks were all named after friends and relatives of the Kageyamas, and Shiro was still waiting for his own. Kiyomi had insisted that she couldn’t name black coffee after him, and was constantly experimenting with his drinks to see if she could find something for him.

“It’s the Kenma.” Shiro grinned. Kenma was a college student who had started working part time for the cafe the previous year, and had hit it off with one of the sons and his boyfriend. He was a kind if quiet boy, and Shiro was glad he had wormed himself enough into the family to get a drink named after him.

“Do you think he’s working today? It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” With that, Kenma appeared at their table, notebook in hand.

“Hi Shiro, Allura, do you know your orders yet?” Kenma asked.

“Oh, yes. I’ll try the Kenma, it sounds delightful.” Allura smiled gently.

“And I’ll have a black coffee, same as always. Could you tell Kiyomi not to experiment with it this week? I just need a plain caffeine hit with the kids I’ve got this year.”

“Yes, of course. That’ll be all right?”

“Yep, we’re good. Good luck for your shift alright Kenma?” Allura called after him as he went back to the counter to prepare their drinks. She turned back to Shiro. “So how bad are they this year?”

“Well, I’ve got another McClain, Lance, and he’s a sweet kid, he really is, but he’s got this rivalry going on with a tablemate, Keith, and they’re driving me crazy. Keith is a transfer, I’m pretty sure he’s a foster kid, and like, he’s really smart, but as soon as Keith and Lance start going at it, the whole thing gets derailed.” As he finished his rant, Kenma came back with their drinks.

“Here you two go. Good luck with your students this year.”

“Thank you Kenma,” Allura told him.

“Yes, thank you!” Shiro parroted. Kenma turned to go back to the counter.

Allura steered the conversation back to where it had been “That duo sounds like a nightmare to have at the same table. Have you tried moving them?”

"I haven’t really yet, because, y’know, it’s only been a week, hopefully they’ll get over it. Plus, I threatened to move them today, and they both just protested more. But if this keeps up, I’m going to have to.”

“Sounds like quite the dilemma there, Shiro. So far everyone’s been good to me, which is nice.”

Shiro snorted. “That’s because you put the fear of god into all your students on the first day.”

“They’re 6th graders! How else am I supposed to handle them? They all think they’re mature and ready to go to middle school right now!”

“No, I get it, I do. Has anyone had any trouble with the mice?” Allura kept 4 mice in her classroom as class pets, but some years she had to move them all to her home because a student was scared or allergic.

“Not so far, which is very nice. I just hope I don’t get any pigeon problems from Matt Holt this year.” Allura giggled, remembering the muffled screams of terror she had heard from next door when a pet pigeon had gotten loose in Shiro’s classroom.

“Oh, that reminds me. Matt’s little sibling skipped a grade and is in my class, Pidge. They used to go by Katie, but apparently they’re non-binary. Luckily the rest of the class adjusted fast to the pronoun shift. Third graders are conveniently flexible like that. And they sit at the same table as Lance and Keith, and Lance’s friend Hunk. I feel like I’m going to regret letting those four sit together.”

“Aww, baby Holt! I remember when you first started working at Altea and you would gush about your little goddaughter. Are you glad you get to spend more time with them? I know you were away in the summer so couldn’t see ‘em much.”

“You know I can’t play favorites in class. But it’s nice to see them getting along with others. I’m glad the shift up in grades hasn’t affected them too much. They’re getting pretty close with Hunk, who is the fourth one at the table and always tinkering with something.”

“Oh, that’s so good. And that’s your problem table?”

“Exactly. It might be worse than I make it sound, they’re troublemakers the four of them.”

“Ha, I know what you mean. I have this pair, Rolo and Nyma, and they seem very sweet, but if they think I’m not looking at them they start making paper airplanes or rolling up spitballs. Quite a devilish little duo.”

Shiro groans at the name Rolo. “Thank god I only had Rolo. I heard from the second grade teacher who had both of them that together they were a terror, but Iverson got Nyma. He still released the pigeon though.”

“Oh, so that’s who I’ll have to look out for on pet day.”

“I don’t know why you think it’s a good idea to have a pet day rather than spacing it out, but I’ve been trying to stop you for years and somehow you never learn the lesson. Have fun with the pigeon this year.”

Allura groaned. “I know it’s always terrible but it’s tradition. 6th graders have pet day because they always insist they’re too old for Show and Tell.”

Shiro laughed. The pair continued chattering while drinking, finished up, paid the bill, and Shiro dropped Allura off at her apartment before heading home himself. He flopped onto the bed and groaned to himself. Every new school year, he promised to make his feelings clear, and every new school year, he failed. Maybe this year would be different.


	3. In Which Shiro Attempts To Separate Lance and Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro thinks he has good ideas. They are... less good then he thinks.

Shiro had had enough. It had been three weeks, and the fighting between Lance and Keith had not died down one bit. Yesterday it had been which of the two got to pass the worksheets to the other people at their table. There were only four people total at the table. Shiro had never tried or wanted to try understand the levels of pettiness third graders could get to, but these two- these two were a whole new low.

So when Lance and Keith walked into the classroom, bumping each other out of the way to get through the doorway, he approached the pair. “Keith,” he said, “I want you to go sit with Rachel and Zoe today.” He pointed at a table towards the back. “And Lance, you’re going to sit with John, Sarah, and Anna, because if I just moved Keith you would still be sitting with your friends, and that wouldn’t be fair to him.”

The pair whined loudly at their removal from their other two friends, but he quelled the discontent by telling them that it was temporary. They could move back to the table with their friends as soon as they started getting along. He hoped that this might foster a friendship between them during their recesses in order to get back to their normal tables, or at very least a truce of the insane warfare they had been waging against one another.

Shiro very quickly realized his mistake, as he started class and called on Keith to answer a question. It was a fairly simple multiplication problem, and Shiro already knew that Keith was very good at memorizing his multiplication tables. As Keith began to answer, Lance, from the opposite end of the room, shouted an incorrect answer over him.

This quickly led to a shouting match across the room about which one of them was right, which made Shiro have to pause his entire class plans to try and quell this even worse problem. At least when they were at the same table they were concentrated and didn’t usually disrupt the entire class. He ended up telling the pair of them that they were going to be staying inside for recess- a very rare punishment from him since it was one of the worst punishments you could give a third grader, and yourself as a third grade teacher, as then you would have to deal with petulant third graders throughout recess.

At very least, doling out the punishment seemed to put a stop to their fight. As recess came around he let the rest of the students out, then turned to Lance and Keith, still sitting at their respective tables. Shiro sighed.

“Do you two know why I kept you inside for recess today?”

Keith squeaked, and buried his face in his shirt, while Lance glared at the wall.

“You’re both brilliant boys, and I think you could be very good friends, but this rivalry of yours needs to stop. It’s not just disrupting your tablemates at this point, it’s disrupting the entire class.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have put us at different tables then.” Lance spat.

“Lance, Keith, I put you at different tables because I’m not sure how to handle this, and I thought separating the pair of you might help you not be at each other’s throats all the time. Obviously, it didn’t work. I’m not sure what will work. All I know is that you two are always fighting, and that it needs to stop. Do you have any suggestions about how we can fix this?"

“If you put us back with our friends it would help.” Lance suggested.

“I’m planning on that, but when you were with your friends, and each other, you were still fighting a lot.”

“It’s not- it’s not real fights” Keith muttered. “We’re not really fighting. It’s mostly for fun. Or, like, if Lance gets something wrong I want to, um, help him so I try to tell him the answer. But it’s not real fighting. Real fighting is scary. This is fun.”

Shiro’s heart panged at that. He had found out in the past few weeks while trying to figure out what was leading to all the fighting that Keith was in the foster care system after having been removed from a physically and verbally abusive household. And he had heard horror stories about foster homes being worse than where the children came from.

“Right, okay, Keith you think it’s fun. Lance what do you think?”

“Yeah, it’s mostly fun. Like sometimes I say something because I know it will make Keith kinda mad but not too mad, and then we fight a little bit but then we laugh. Or like, when I get something wrong and he tells me I don’t think I’m wrong so I say no and then like Hunk will tell me Keith was right and then Keith will explain it to me. Keith is really good at explaining stuff so I get it.” Lance smiled at Keith, and Keith smiled back.

“Okay, so it’s all in good fun. Then I’m more okay with it. The problem is, boys, that you two are disrupting class time when you fight with each other. That means that even though Keith might be helping you, Lance, other students can’t learn when you’re shouting over each other. Do you get that?”

“Yeah,” Lance mumbled, Keith echoing him.

“Thank you.” Shiro replied. “How about this. You two move back to your normal table right now. And then once you’ve moved your things, I’ll let you go out for the rest of recess. When you come back in, you can keep working the way you have been, but if you start disturbing the class, I’ll tell you to quiet down. If I tell you to stop and you don’t, I’ll have to have you sit out another recess. You guys can stay in here and have free time, but you can’t go outside if you fight with each other and it disrupts the rest of the class. Does that sound like a good plan?”

“Yeah!” Lance replied.

“Oh, and if either of you has any problems, like your play-fighting goes too far, please come talk to me right away. I want to be able to fix these things and catch them before they get out of hand. Now go move your stuff and get out of here.”

The pair scrambled to move back to their normal seats, and then rushed outside again, bumping into each other. Shiro watched them with softened eyes.

When he got coffee with Allura at the end of the week, he told her about the conversation he had with his own pair of troublemakers, and she smiled brilliantly at him. He grinned back, and filed away that smile as one of his favorite things about his co-worker.


	4. In Which The Madness is Spreading and Shiro is Not OK With That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran comes to teach art class, and a disturbance is caused by Pidge and Hunk. Surprise! It's spreading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smh poor shiro I put him thru so much

Each Thursday starting on the fourth week of school, Coran, the school wide art teacher, would come into the classroom for two hours to instruct Shiro’s students in art. It was the sixth week of school, so Shiro’s students had started getting used to Coran’s weekly appearances, and even starting to look forwards to them. This was also the point in the school year when Shiro started to anticipate with dread Coran’s visits.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Coran, as he was nearly impossible to dislike. He had bright orange hair and a matching moustache below a huge nose, and his personality reflected his bright and happy hair. He was friendly and kind, but he was extremely nosy (no pun intended), and being Allura’s uncle did not help in the bit.

After Coran had set his students to their task, this week it was to sketch their favorite animal from a pile of drawing books he had brought, he joined Shiro at his desk, and started the interrogation. “So, Shiro, my boy, have you asked Allura on a date yet?”

Shiro leaned back in his chair, ran his fingers through his short hair, and sighed. “Coran, you know I can’t do that, it’s highly inappropriate in the workplace.”

Coran snorted. “What are you talking about? It’s not like she’s your superior. Why, I remember a few years back, when....” Coran continued to remind Shiro about a pair of instructors who had gotten married 4 years before. What he had failed to mention was the nasty divorce that led to the ex-husband switching schools mid-year and loading a bunch more work onto the only second grade teacher left over.

“It’s not like I don’t think about it every single day Coran, because I promise you, I do- hang on, what in the world is Lance doing?” Shiro had been scanning the classroom while talking to Coran and noticed Lance standing on his chair, holding a tower of connected markers.

“Ohhh dear I’d better go check on him. What was his name again? Lance?” Coran bustled over to the table, and Shiro followed in his footsteps, knowing that whatever Lance was up to, it probably needed to be stopped.

“Wait up, Coran. I’ll probably need to handle this. Let me talk to them.” Shiro called after him while quickening his pace to catch up.

When they actually got to the table, Shiro noticed that Keith was also standing on a chair with a tower of markers. “What in the world is going on over here?” He asked, not sure he was prepared to hear the answer.

Lance, as usual, was the first to pipe up. “Well you see, Pidge thought-”

Hunk interrupted him. “Lance! Don’t talk! You’re messing up your balance, the tower will fall.”

Pidge cut in to explain. “Well, it’s like this, you see. I said that I could position Keith perfectly so that he could hold a tower of markers as tall as him from his hand and it wouldn’t break, and then Hunk said that he could make it so Lance could have a tower twice as tall as him, so we’re- Keith! Don’t move!- anyways so Hunk said he could make Lance’s tower taller, so we’re trying to see who is the better engineer by who helps make the tallest tower.”

Shiro pressed his hands against his eyelids. “Oh sweet lord. It’s spreading.” He mumbled to himself. “Alright, kids, I know you want to know which one of you is the better engineer, but I need Keith and Lance to get off the chairs. We can figure out some other way to test your engineering prowess, but it’s not safe to stand on chairs in the slightest. Please just do what Coran asked for today and draw an animal.”

The four grumbled, but Lance and Keith passed their marker towers over to their partners and climbed down from the chairs. Somehow in the exchange of towers, none of the markers fell off and into a pile on the floor, for which Shiro felt extremely lucky.

Shiro held his hand out expectantly. “If you can’t play with markers safely, you’re going to have to use colored pencils. Which don’t stack. And if I catch you trying to stack them, I’m going to have to stop you from art time. I’ll go get the colored pencils for you, but please give me the markers for now.” Hunk and Pidge reluctantly took apart the towers and handed him a few small child handfuls of markers each. “Thank you.”

Before he went to get colored pencils, he asked Coran to keep an eye on the four. “I feel like they’re going to start something again as soon as I turn my back.” Thankfully, they were able to stay calm for the minute it took him to retrieve the colored pencils, but Shiro thought it must have been some sort of miracle.

Shiro thanked every deity he knew that the rest of the day and friday passed after that without too much incident. On friday he set up an activity building houses using toothpicks and mini marshmallows to quell Hunk and Pidge’s thirst for engineering projects. There was a slight problem with Lance and Keith trying to have a toothpick sword fight, but he was able to stop them quickly.

As he met up with Allura at the end of the week, she grinned at him. “So I hear the troublemakers tried to have what? A tower building contest?”

“Yeah. Out of those connectable markers. Standing on chairs. Apparently it wasn’t Keith and Lance’s idea this time but that just means it's spreading. Hunk and Pidge are both aspiring engineers it seems.”

“Oh my god. Well you’re in for a wild school year.”

“It’s only been six weeks Allura, how am I even going to survive this?”

“With a lot of coffee. Let’s get going.” Allura started heading out for the parking lot, while Shiro dug in his satchel for his keys before following her.


	5. In Which Shiro's Problems Are Solved By Other People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Show and Tell is finally upon us. Shiro is not ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a couple one-shots within this AU planned, including a trip to an amusement park and a Halloween party. If you want to get notifications for those, just subscribe to the 3rd Grade AU series, or follow me on tumblr [](actualscienceside.tumblr.com>actualscienceside</a>%20although%20you%20might%20just%20get%20spammed%20with%20Haikyuu!!%20and%20Yuri!!!%20on%20Ice%20things%20with%20a%20sprinkle%20of%20Voltron%20and%20ML.)

On a Saturday three months into the school year, Shiro got the call. His bi-weekly Show and Tell sessions had been going well so far. There was a little rivalry going on between Keith and Lance as to who could bring in the coolest item, but nothing had gone too horribly wrong yet.

There was the one time Lance decided to bring in his older brother’s WWII hand cranked-siren. Shiro was able to convince Lance not to demonstrate how it worked in the classroom, instead playing a youtube video of the same model being played, which was at a much lower volume coming out of his computer. Lance had pouted for a few minutes, until Keith conceded that the siren was way cooler than anything he could have brought in. He had, so far, been fortunate.

But now, now he was dreading the upcoming Wednesday. No matter how many times Sam had assured him that he would be constantly attentive of Rover’s cage and wouldn’t take breaks, Shiro couldn’t help but turn his mind back to the incident three years ago. It had taken him over an hour to calm his students down after that, and another hour to get them to actually pay attention to their assignments.

“C’mon Shiro, you’ll be fine I promise. I’ve even got a lock on the travel cage so no one has any possibility of opening it except me, with the key.”

“Sam, you don’t know the kids that sit with Pidge. Actually, scratch that, Pidge makes half the mischief themself, but I don’t think you understand the chaos that table causes. If Keith- or god forbid Lance, gets his hands on that cage, I don’t even know what would happen, but it wouldn’t be good.”

“I’ll make sure to keep a good eye on it. And you can come over for dinner that night, Theresa is making her chicken parmesan, I know it’s your favorite.” Shiro had a firmly held belief that Theresa Holt’s chicken parmesan was straight from heaven. Sam knew this, and knew it was the best bribe he could offer.

“Ugh, fine. You know I’m weak to that dish Sam. I’ll see you next Wednesday.”

“Oh right, and could you mention to Allura that I’ll be swinging around late for pet day? Pidge wanted to show off Rover first.”

“I knew there was a reason you were doing this so early in the school year. Coinciding it with pet day means you only have to go there with the bird once.”

“Yep, you caught me. I’ve actually got to get back to the lab, we’re running tests on some samples from that meteor that was brought down a few weeks ago. There might be some completely undiscovered bacteria on it!”   
“Go back to finding your alien bacteria, I’ll keep grading papers.”   


“Bye Shiro, see you next week.”

“Bye Sam, good luck.” Shiro clicked the end call button. It wasn’t as if he disliked Rover. If the bird was at the Holt household, where he knew his surroundings, Rover was a smart and fun pet. But when Rover was brought to an environment he didn’t know, he tended to get nervous. And the last thing Shiro wanted was a repeat of three years ago. Allura still made fun of him for his slight fear of feral pigeons brought on by the incident.

On Wednesday, Sam arrived early with Rover and Pidge in tow. Pidge was talking animatedly at the bird, who was perched on a dowel near the bottom of the cage. While Pidge ran over to their seat, Shiro ushered Sam towards the back where he had a few chairs set up next to a counter and some bookshelves. 

“Go ahead and take a seat. The rest of the class should start getting here soon, and keep an eye on that bird. Please.”

Sam laughed. “Shiro you worry way too much. We’ll be fine. Go set up for class.”   
“If you insist.” Shiro grumbled. He made his way to the front as students filed in and found their seats. When the clock hit 8:30, he picked up his roll sheet and checked if everyone was there. Lance wasn’t in his seat. “ _ Please, god, don’t let him bring in something ridiculous _ .” Shiro thought to himself.

Of course, fate had apparently planned to make Shiro’s life miserable, when Lance bounded in five minutes late cradling a kitten in his arms.

“Fuuu--dge. Lance. What’s my policy on bringing pets for Show and Tell?” Shiro quickly covered up his distressed curse and tried to find a way to get the kitten out of the classroom.

“We have to have our parents call you first. And have them come in with us and the pet. But Mr. Shiro, I found her on my way here! She was crying. I couldn’t just leave her there.”

Shiro knew Lance had a big heart. He couldn’t blame him for picking up the stray. But he also knew that stray kittens carried diseases and fleas and were in no way suitable for a classroom that already had 20 kitten disease-prone third graders and an anxious bird in it.

“Lance, I need you go down to the office with the kitten and call your mom. You’re not in trouble, but I can’t have a kitten in the classroom when Pidge’s bird is here, and it might be sick and make your friends sick. You don’t want that to happen do you?”   
Lance’s bottom lip wobbled. “She might be sick?”   
_ "Oh dear god there is no way to win with these children’ _ Shiro thought to himself. “Well, she might be, but if you call your mom she can take the kitten to the vet so the vet can make sure she isn’t sick and help her if she is.”   
“Ok Mr. Shiro.” Lance turned around and went out the door. The office was three doors down the hallway from his classroom, so Shiro watched through the window as Lance walked to the office. ‘ _ Crisis averted. _ ’

“Alright class, now that everything’s set, we can start Show and Tell. Since Pidge had informed me about bringing their pet in beforehand and had their dad come in, they can start. Now, class, if you would turn your attention to the back of the room, Pidge and Mr. Holt can start their presentation.” 

Miraculously, there were no problems. Shiro had no idea which god had decided to give him their favor that day, but he had no complaints. Lance had come back kittenless in the middle of all the students lining up to get a closer look at Rover, and promptly rushed to the back of the line, excited to see the bird. Rover didn’t get out of his cage, and was brought over to Allura’s classroom partway through the day. There was no screaming from Allura’s classroom. Everything was somehow perfect. 

Dinner with the Holts went well. Theresa was always glad to have him over, and delighted in his compliments on her chicken parmesan. Matt, now a self-important 6th grader, tried to ignore him for about 10 minutes before giving in and tackling him with a hug. Pidge was always delighted to see their godfather, even after spending every day in his class.

So everything had gone amazingly well on that Wednesday, and he was expecting karma to get him back Thursday. But it didn’t. Thursday went well, there were a few minor distractions from the usual suspects, and nothing was wrong. And then, Friday happened.  

The day in class went fine. Keith and Lance had gotten into an argument during the morning recess and had stopped speaking to each other, but in their typical fashion, had worked it out by lunchtime. Everything had been going well, until Allura swung by his classroom for their typical Friday afternoon coffee. 

She looked… well, she looked nervous as hell. Shiro tried to ask her what was wrong, but she brushed him off with a, “let’s just get going.” 

“Okay, sure. Let’s go.” Shiro offered his arm as per usual, and she took it.

In the car, Allura’s nervousness didn’t subside. She drummed her fingers on the passenger window, bounced her legs, fidgeted with her earrings. Shiro didn’t question it. If Allura wanted to tell him what was wrong, she would. If she didn’t, dragging it out of her in the car wouldn’t be a fun process. He could wait until they got to the cafe. 

He parked in the back lot, got out of the car, and walked around to open Allura’s door.

“Thanks Shiro.”

“No problem.”   
They walked into the cafe, Shiro grabbing a pair of menus on the way in, and made their way to the usual table. Once they sat down, Kenma came over to take their orders. Allura ordered her usual, as did Shiro. Once they had gotten their drinks, Shiro finally figured it was a good time to ask.

“Hey, Allura? You’ve been nervous this whole time. Is anything wrong?”   
“What?” Allura blinked, and composed herself. “Sorry. I’ve just been, well I’ve been thinking about something Coran mentioned.”

“Wanna talk about it? I can be a good listener if you need one.”

“Well, he kinda confirmed something I had been hoping for about the guy I like.” 

Shiro was shocked and a little heartbroken to hear that Allura liked some guy, but he was a good friend. He could be a good friend. “Thats a good thing isn’t it?”

Allura sighed. “Well, it would be if the person would get his shit together.” 

Shiro was suddenly angry at this guy. Who the fuck would leave someone as sweet and amazing as Allura hanging like that. “What do you mean?”

“Jesus, Shiro, really?”

“Yes really? Why are you angry at me? I’m not the one leaving you hanging.”

“Shiro. Seriously. Yes, you are. I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out for years. Since you apparently don’t have the balls to do it yourself, I’m gonna ask you. Shiro, will you please, please go out with me? Like on dates. As girlfriend and boyfriend.”

Shiro took a second to process this fact, then responded with an emphatic “Of course!”

“Oh, thank god. I thought I was going to have to drag it out of you.” Allura leaned across the table, thought better of it, walked over to Shiro, and kissed him square on the mouth. This Friday wasn’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope y'all enjoyed.


End file.
